NEIGHBOUR HEADLINES

Scottsdale, Arizona - File Under: It may be a gated community, but that doesn't make it any better then a trailer park. An argument over birdseed, which started with handfuls and escalated to the point that an entire garbage pail was dumped into a pool, has resulted in felony charges, 30 months in jail and a fine of $500,000 for a 67-year old woman who ended the dispute by shooting her neighbour in the groin with a 12-gauge shotgun.

Erba, Italy - File Under: Think about this story next time you play your music loud. The trial of a middle aged couple accused of 4 counts of murder in Italy is being dubbed a case of "neighbour rage". The pair claim that an endless barrage of noise from the neighbouring apartment drove them to the brink of insanity. They stabbed their 4 neighbours (including a 2 year old boy) to death and then burned their house to the ground.

Valley Springs, California - File Under: Thats not the kind of help I need. You may want to reconsider sharing details of your financial situation with your neighbours. When a resident of Valley Springs confided to his neighbour that he was in dire staights the man decided to take things into his own hands... by burning down his neighbours house... and then demanding a cut of the insurance money.

BUILDING A NATURAL FENCE

The old saying is "Good Fences Make Good Neighbours". If you are considering building a fence in order to enjoy the privacy they provide you should strongly consider building a 'Natural Fence'. A natural fence can provide many of the benefits of your more traditional fencing styles, provided you are willing to spend the extra time and effort necessary to keep your natural fence healthy and strong. Watering, fertilizing, and trimming a large natural fence can be a considerable expense, but one that can be well worth the effort, especially in this era of increased environmental sensibility. Eco considerations aside, no matter how well crafted your traditional wooden fence is, it will pale in comparison to the beauty of a well-maintained natural fence.


A natural fence can also provide some significant benefits that may not be immediately apparent. For starters, a natural fence can be a great way to get around local bylaws regarding the height of a fence. Many municipalities have specific laws regarding the height of fences which are usually limited to something close to 6 feet. Something as simple as a raised back deck on your neighbours lot can result in a complete lack of privacy in your own back yard. These bylaws can sometimes be effectively neutralized by building a natural fence from a plant variety that upon full maturity can greatly exceed the maximum heights allowed for a traditional fence.


Traditional fences may provide a degree of privacy but lack any real ability to limit noise from your neighbours yard or a nearby roadway. A thick natural fence is far better at noise and even wind reduction. Consider that noise is often the #1 cause of neighbourhood conflic. It only makes sense to consider planting a natural fence in your yard.


One common concern is the length of time it may take for a natural fence to reach maturity. A traditional fence provides almost immediate privacy, while a natural fence can take many seasons to be an effective barrier. This does not have to be the case provided you choose the right varieties. There are a number of plant varieties that grow very quickly, in some cases as much as 3-4 feet in a single season. Another common concern is hardiness, especially in cold or dought-prone climates. Once again, some careful consideration when choosing the composition of your natural fence can overcome these challenges.


There are a number of plants you can consider when planning your natural fence and I encourage you to discuss your intentions in depth with an employee at your local nursery in order to guarantee success. Soil conditions, drainage, sun/shade, and zone are all going to be involved in your natural fence choices and it is important that none of these factors are overlooked. I'm going to discuss two of my personal favourites here, both are quite hardy and can thrive anywhere in the United States and in most of Canada.


Leyland Cypress - It is claimed the Leyland Cypress was a "genetic accident" that originated in Wales, when two separate Cypress species (Nooka and Monterey) were cross pollinated. The Leyland Cypress can thrive in zones 6-10, which makes it suitable for planting pretty much anywhere in the continental United States and many parts of Canada. You can confirm your local zone by checking out these maps of Canada and the USA. What makes the Leyland Cypress such a great building block for a natural fence is the incredible growth rate and immense mature height. The Leyland will grow 3-4 feet per season and can reach a maximum height well over 50 feet if not pruned. Since the Leyland is an evergreen it provides year round color to your garden. The Leyland is also very thick and bushy, making a series of mature Leylands more of a barrier then a fence. A word of warning, failure to prune a Leyland during the early stages will result in an out of control plant, and as much as you want privacy, I'm sure most folks don't want a 100 foot high wall of green (well perhaps you do) and this is a real possibility. There have been more then a few examples of out of control Leylands being the center of neighbourhood tension, including instances where Leylands are planted out of spite and allowed to grow out of control. Some other great alternatives to the Leyland include the Arizona Cypress and Japanese Cedar, neither being as fast growing or able to reach the heights of a mature Leyland.


Bamboo - There are dozens of varieties of Bamboo but I'm going to focus in specifically on a few that are cold hardy and thus can survive in even some of the coldest climates. Macon Rivercane is a bamboo that is native to North America and can survive winter temperatures as cold as -32 celcius. It is characterized by very tight branches which makes it a great choice for a natural fence. Bashania is not as cold tolerant, but still able to withstand winters as cold as -26 celcius, making it suitable for much of the USA and Southern Ontario or British Columbia. If you are considering a bamboo fence and live where it snows you should investigate cold-hardy varieties including Chusquea, Fargesia and Hibanobambusa.

If you decide to build a natural fence I can't recommend enough the importance of making friends with folks at your local independent nursery. While their prices may be higher then big box stores you will be able to ask questions and get advice from trained experts instead of high-school kids making minimum wage.

NEIGHBOUR HEADLINES

Cumberland County, Tennessee - A dispute between two neighbours regarding a dog got out of control when one of them pulled out a shotgun. A witness disarmed the man before he had a chance to blow a hole in his neighbours chest. Undaunted he picked up a chainsaw and began chasing his neighbour around the yard. The man escaped by jumping in his pickup truck and driving away. Shotguns, a dog, and a pickup truck. This story has all the makings of a great country song. Or it could be just another day in Tennessee? You decide. Original story appears in the Crossville Chronicle.

Bottomley, West Yorks, U.K. - A resident of the rural community of Bottomley has been fined close to $400,000 USD after being charged for a "rampaging campaign of hatred and pure evil" that involved loud music, spotlights, damage to cars, the depositing of dead animals on her neighbours property, and broken glass scattered on roads and pathways. Her antics have earned her the nickname the "Beast of Bottomley" (Sounds like a monster from a Tolkein book) and despite evidence coming to light that she had confrontations with neighbours at her previous address she still claims to be the real victim. The accused has also been charged with two separate "Anti Social Behavior Orders" which from what I can tell is combination of a public shaming and a slap on the wrist that is a quirky little aspect of the criminal justice system in the United Kingdom. More details on the latest judgement are available from the BBC.

GOOD NEIGHBOURS SHOW OFF THEIR UNDERWEAR

Denizens of many suburban neighbourhoods like to create their own artificial reality. Neighbourhood bylaws against certain house colors and designs are the norm in many of these so-called 'planned' communities. Many people who live in drought stricken areas of the country are still unable to plant ecologically sensitive groundcover or wildflowers instead of your typical golf-green and pesticide enriched lawn.

One common neighbourhood, and in some cases municipal bylaw involves a ban on outdoor clothes drying. Proponents of these rules maintain that such clotheslines are unsightly, or that they look "cheap" and thus lower property values. For the most part I would think those who feel this way are just elitist snobs but that is just my opinion. Several years ago during the height of California's energy shortage, the Dooonesbury comic strip incorporated the debate into a storyline.

Today the government of Ontario announced thier intention to bring forward a long overdue piece of legislation that would provide owners of all freestanding detached homes, semi-detached, and rowhouses the right to dry clothes outdoors on a line. This law would effectively overide any existing municipal or neighbourhood bylaws. Hopefully other Provinces and even jurisdictions in the USA can work on enacting similar legislation.

I've been a big fan out line drying clothes for a long time (and was prevented by doing so at my house in Kitchener due to a neighbourhood bylaw). Since moving out to a small rural community I try to do it whenever the weather permits but I'll admit I don't dry underwear on the line. I know that may seem kind of silly, I guess I'm just shy.

Some handy tips for drying clothes on the line:

1. Use a liquid fabric softener in the wash. This will help make the clothes feel no different when you put them on after line drying then if you used that energy hog in your laundry room.

2. Hang shirts from the tail (fold over the bottom 2-3 inches) to avoid little marks at the shoulders that you would have to spend time ironing out before wearing.

3. Fold sheets in half and then hang with just a few inches over the line where you pin. This will reduce wrinkles.

4. Towels should be folded over the line at about the 1/3 point (1/3 on one side of the line, 2/3 on the other and pinned across the top).

5. Hang delicate items on clothes hangers and then attach the hanger to the line. This is especially useful for knitted items that you want to hold their shape.

One final tip: After line drying you can always just give your clothes 5 minutes in the energy hog. This works great if you forgot fabric softener or if heavy items like jeans and towels are still a bit damp in places. It also can reduce wrinkles and saves you time by avoiding the iron.

CRAPPY NEIGHBOUR AND FROZEN POOP

Loud parties may be an inconvenience but just thank the lord above that you don't live anywhere near Ronnie A. Ballard. The turd pictured at left was arrested and charged with defacating inside unattended washing machines and shoes left in the hallways of his apartment building. Ronnie is currently in jail on $1400 bail and has been ordered by the court to "only defecate in toilets". Can you imagine how the Judge felt when he was writing that one out?

Seeing this story reminded me of my old neighbour in Toronto who used to encourage his children to urinate in their backyard instead of using the indoor plumbing. I guess he was trying to save on his water bill or something.

Which leads me to a task I performed today. Earlier this week it was above freezing and all the snow has melted. Then came two solid days of below zero temperatures, which made today the perfect day to clear my yard of dog poop. During the summer I try to clean up after my dog almost immediately, but during the winter I get lazy. Most of the time I just open the back door, let the old guy out, and then let him back in the house when he barks.

So today was the day and I cleaned up two months worth of dog shit from my backyard. I literally filled a plastic grocery bag to overflowing. When I was done my hands were half-frozen and I think I had frostbite but this is the best weather for picking up dog shit. No smell, easy to handle, and nothing gets left behind.

Believe it or not I stumbled across a product that allows you to get this winter convenience any time of the year. This could be one of the greatest possible inventions for a dog owner. "Poop Freeze" is an aerosol based instant freeze spray. One quick shot with this and your dog's poop is frozen solid and ready for easy pick-up and disposal.

AUSSIE PARTY BOY UNLEASHED

Ever have a neighbour throw a crazy party? Just be happy you don't live next to Australia's Most Famous Party-Boy Corey Worthington. Corey was originally just planning on having "a few mates" over one night when is parents were out of town. Then he had the bright idea of posting the party on his MySpace page. Next thing you know 500 people show up at his house, and the party spills out into the yard and down the street. When angry neighbours phoned the cops things just got worse as the crowd of drunk teenagers went on a destructive rampage that had the police in full retreat... until they called in helicopter gunships and attack dogs.

Corey has managed to turn himself into a minor celebrity and while does claim to be sorry for throwing a party that got out of hand he is pretty insistent that you can't blame him for the actions of others (vandalism, fighting with the cops, etc.). What is really pissing off the old and boring is his attitude about the whole thing... you would think he is a teenager or something.

Corey did a few interviews and this bimbo reporter gets so upset that Corey is apparently not being sincere enough for her. Who would of thought that a teenager could be insincere? These people must all be living on another planet or something.


Funny Kid Isnt Sorry About Huge Party - Watch more free videos

First we heard that the cops were going to fine him $20,000 but it begs the question, why didn't the cops arrest those who were engaged in the vandalism when it was occurring? Just how pathetic and useless are Australian cops anyway?

Instead of a radio call that there were "500 teenagers having a party" perhaps they should have been told that illegal immigrants or anti-war protesters were running loose. Cops never seem to have trouble arresting large crowds of people who are actually protesting against something that could undermine the authority of our corporate masters.

Now today we find out the cops have decided to charge Corey with 'production of child pornography' because he was taking photos of some of the teenage girls at the party playing naked twister. This is just stupid. Child pornography is a serious crime, and charging Corey Worthington with this based on what occurred at his party does a disservice to the thousands of innocent children who are victimized by it every year. This only proves how stupid and out to lunch the Australian police are.