NEIGHBOUR HEADLINES

Cardiff, Wales - A man has been sentenced to jail for six months after smashing down his neighbour's door with an axe. Apparently he had been upset about the creaky door for months, claiming it was waking him up late at night. Witnesses say he was seen in the hallway moments before the attack wielding an axe and a machete while screaming "I'm going to kill someone... I'll chop them up". Next time how about attacking the hinge with some WD-40?

Lanchester, Durham - File this one under "Not Going To End Well". A former Hell's Angel, who barely avoided jail after finally being convicted of harassing his neighbours, has been allowed to move back into his old house. A previous court judgement had ordered him to sell the property and never return but I guess that proved difficult in this current economic climate. The order to sell the home has been lifted, and since the man has been on his best behaviour for the last six months someone has determined he is no longer a threat. So what did he do that was so horrible? Well cutting down his neighbours hedge and putting up a barbed wire fence is pretty standard. Banging on walls and brandishing firearms isn't exactly out of the ordinary either. How about stabbing HIMSELF in the chest and then accusing his neighbour?