Saturday, May 03, 2008


Mississauga, Ontario - A dispute over a tree branch that was hanging across a property line has left a 78 year old man in the hospital and his 48 year old neighbour facing charges. Apparently words were exchanged, which escalated into a shoving match, and the heightened state of excitement was too much for the old man's heart. The dispute was apparently long standing, revolving around construction of a shed, and was the animosity between the two was well known in the area. Frankly I don't care how "right" you think you are, I can't imagine pushing around a 78 year old dude just to prove a point about a property line or a building permit. Its not like he came at the guy with an axe or something...

Wolverhampton, U.K. - After decapitating his next door neighbour with an axe Anthony Phillips received a life sentence in 2000 but a recent Judge's order means he is eligible for parole in 2013. Phillips claims he was told by God to kill his "wicked" neighbour after she had an affair with his 15-year old son and gave birth to a child. He seems to have changed his tune now, claiming it was wrong to premeditate the murder and should have focused on "understanding and forgiveness". Tell that to the headless lady next door.

We all have a local neighbour who is well known to be a bit odd. It could be the strange house at the end of the street where children don't dare enter the front yard to retrieve a lost ball. It could be the neighbour who when you see them coming you would just as rather cross the street then have to engage them in a strained conversation.

Then you hear stories on the news, interviews with people who lived next door to a crazed serial killer, and all they can think of saying is "He was a quiet man who kept to himself". It makes you wonder what the neighbours of Austrian dungeon-master Josef Fritzl thought about him?

So who could be living next door to you?

I heard the buzz about Morgan Spurlock's latest documentary, Where In The World Is Osama Bin Ladin, a few months ago. I heard one story about secretive meetings with big Hollywood producers who gave the green light after only seeing 5 minutes of footage. While I am pretty sure Osama is not living in a quiet bungalow on #5 Pivet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey I wonder if his current neighbours have any idea? Are his current neighbours part of the same religious fundamentalist world view as Osama or are they simple folk who are more concerned with the safety of their children and putting food on the table. Just exactly what kind of place would or could he be hiding? I can see the interviews now, wide-eyed folks staring into the CNN camera and spouting off one-liners like "I always knew there was something suspicious about him" or "He was the nicest man, I just can't believe he could do the things they are saying..." or "He kept to himself mostly, but he sure didn't do a very good job maintaining his lawn. That sort of thing is frowned upon here."

One thing you can be sure, if Spurlock's movie is half as entertaining as Supersize Me or his television series 30 Days then the movie that ends up being 2008's 'summer blockbuster' could end up suprising everybody, including Osama's neighbours in the cave next door.

1 comment:

Robert Campbell said...

Well that was very readable. I suspect that the Stupid Neighbor in question warned the man by saying 'If you don't listen, I'll chop off your head!' And the poor guy just didn't listen. Morgan Spurlock's doc is equally important. Nice seque.