Monday, December 30, 2002

Christmas Break
I've out of town right now, visiting family and enjoying the holidays, so I am unable to report on the antics of my stupid neighbour. I am also forced to post this via dialup (argh!). I am sure however I will have some updates when I return home next weekend. For now I will just mention that no, my neighbour never did pick up the string of christmas lights that were laying on his lawn. The cardboard boxes were finally taken away for recycling. And finally, he started parking in the middle of his lawn again, and once again got stuck the first time we had some melting snow. The tire grooves in his backyard lawn are so wide and deep it now appears that a dumptruck has been parking there. I can't wait for spring.

Monday, December 16, 2002

Flying Samosa?
I've talked before about how the kids next door sometimes throw their toys into my yard. Today I found a big Samosa. Seriously, what kind of moron throws a samosa into their neighbours yard anyway? I don't know what else to say. My neighbour did spend some time today cutting up and bundling the large cardboard boxes that have sat on his lawn for the last two weeks. He probably got some grief from his wife. Its a shame they have to sit on the front yard another two weeks before the next recycling pickup. At least they are now broken down so the municipal workers will have no excuse not to get it off the front lawn.

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Boring Week
It has been a rather boring week. Nothing much happening. The Christmas lights are still sitting in a pile on the ground. The huge 52" TV and refridgerator box have also sat on my neighbours front lawn since last week. Today was garbage (and recycling) pickup but like I predicted they didn't take them because the boxes were not broken down and bundled up. Just in case you are wondering, the recycling truck that comes alongs this street does not have a compactor so it would make it pretty damn tough for the workers to load these huge boxes into the truck. Even if they did, they would immediately have to drive to one of the transfer stations and unload since there would not be room for anyone elses recycling. My neighbour had a big party earlier in the week. Thankfully it is cold so they didn't sit in the backyard listening to Salsa until 2 AM. I'm pretty sure he was just showing off his new TV. I can't say I blame him. I'd show of a 52" TV myself if I had one.

Wednesday, December 04, 2002

New Fridge & 52" Television
Well today my neighbour had a new fridge and a monsterous 52" projection television delivered. I noticed the Leon's truck pull up this morning. For those of you who don't know, Leon's is a Canadian chain of furniture and electronics stores famous for their "No Money Miracle". If you buy now you don't have to start making payments until 2004. If I am still around in 2004 perhaps I can look forward to the stuff getting repossessed. Anyway, they dropped off the new stuff, and sure enough now the two huge cardboard boxes the fridge and television came in are sitting on the front yard. It would take probably 5 minutes of work to break the boxes down flat and bundle them up with string. My stupid neighbour is probably too busy enjoying his new television to do that. I can now look forward to them sitting on the front lawn until next Wednesday when the recycling truck comes by to pick up cardboard. Even then they might not pick it up since boxes are supposed to be flat. I should stress that these are damn big boxes. The television box itself is probably 4 feet wide and 5 feet high. The fridge box is easily 4' x 4' x 4' as well. They take up his entire yard. If they blow into the street they will block traffic. I'm going to ask him on Saturday if I can come over to watch the Super Bowl.

Monday, December 02, 2002

Throwing Toys
Ever since I moved into my house about a year ago I keep finding toys and other strange things littering my yard. I knew they were coming from next door, but what I could not figure out was why. I remember playing in my backyard as a child, and sometimes toys would one way or another end up over the fence in the neighbours yard. We would run around and retrieve them right away, sometimes we would knock on the neighbours door to let them know, sometimes not. It depended on the neighbour. I assumed the kids next door would be playing, somehow the toy would end up on my side of the fence, and perhaps they were scared of me or something so they would not retrieve it. Then I got to thinking that perhaps the older kids were throwing the youngest childs toys over the fence because they were being mean to him. I got in the habit of tossing the toys back over the fence. Every couple days I would do a once over of the yard and find a few balls, an action figure, and perhaps a toy car. I'd toss them back over the fence and go about my merry way. Last Saturday I was in my yard and I see a small ball. I look next door (its a chain link fence BTW) and see the youngest child staring at me. I smile and wave and say "did you lose your ball? I'll get it" and I tossed the ball back over the fence to him. I went into my garage to get something out of my car, and when I walked back through my yard the ball was there again. I looked over at the kid and said "did you lose your ball again? I'll get it" and tossed it back over the fence. As I approached the back door of my house I looked over my shoulder and the kid and thrown the ball back into my yard. I didn't know what to do at that point so I ignored it and went inside. Now I'm thinking the kid just wants someone to play with, probably because his idiot father doesn't pay any attention to him.

Thursday, November 28, 2002

The Missing Tree
Every fall the city comes around and examines all the trees that line the street. If they determine one is damaged (disease, age, etc) and has become a falling hazard they spray paint it with a large X and then a few weeks later a crew comes by to remove the tree. Then in the spring the city sends out another crew to plant new trees to replace the ones that were cut down. Anyway, the tree on my neighbours front lawn got marked. I'm not sure why, it didn't look diseased, but was growing very close to some power lines. Two weeks ago the crew came by and chopped it down. When my neighbour came home he just stood in his front lawn for about 10 minutes shaking his head, probably wondering what happened to his tree. We know from past experience he would not have read the note the city would have put in his mailbox. He had some Christmas lights left in the tree from at least 2 years ago. I know this because they were in the tree last Christmas but from what I could tell none of them worked, since he never bothered plugging them in. The city workers took them down and left them in a neat little pile on his lawn. They sit in that same pile today. Even when my stupid neighbour finally got around to raking up his leaves he just raked around the pile of lights. Come December I'm thinking about running over to his house in the middle of the night and plugging them in but just leaving them on the ground where they sit. I would be willing to bet they stay in that pile all winter.

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Garbage Day (Again)
Well today was garbage day and recycling day so the truck came by and picked up the pile of cardboard boxes that had been sitting on my neighbours lawn since last Wednesday. As I predicted they didn't take the three plastic garbage bags full of yard waste. The city garbage men put one of the yellow stickers that read "sorry we don't pick up compostable yard waste unless its in a paper bag or reusable container". Too bad my neighbour won't bother reading it, in fact I'm not convinced he can read anyway. That may explain why he didn't understand all the letters sent to him even when they were in 7 different languages. My neighbour threw out alot of stuff this week, he must be doing some redecorating. Along with the regular garbage were some old drawers (but no sign of the dresser), a smelly old area rug, and a big wicker laundry basket with some unidentified stains. There was also an old PC with a label on the front that said "486SX".

Sunday, November 24, 2002

Yard Waste
I spent a most of yesterday afternoon working on my yard, trying to get everything done before the winter hits for good. I managed to rake up all the leaves, clean out the flower beds, and mow the grass one last time. My stupid neighbours wife came out and mentioned how nice the yard looked when I was done. I think she put some pressure on her husband because today he is out raking up his leaves, etc. He didn't bother mowing his lawn, but its just a carpet of broadleaf weeds anyway, I don't think there is any grass left at all. He is outside right now jamming all the leaves into several plastic garbage bags, which I predict will sit on his front lawn until next spring. Why? Because the city recycling bylaws state they will not pickup compostable material unless it is in a paper yard waste bag or reusable containers. My neighbour must know this, as the bylaw was passed 3 years ago and they advertise it everywhere from flyers in your mail to advertisements on public transit and television. He is just too lazy and stupid to go out and buy some paper yard waste bags, which are available at every hardware and grocery store in the city. They don't cost that much (I think I paid $1.99 for a package of 6) and we should really all do our part to reduce the amount of waste we put in the landfill.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

Filthy Children

I like children. Really I do. I have one myself and plan on having more. However, there are two kinds of children in this world. Your own... and everyone elses. My idiot neighbour has a bunch of idiot children. Its not their fault, its probably genetic. Either way, here is a true story. I was enjoying a beer in my backyard earlier in the summer. I had a few friends over and we were going to fire up the BBQ and enjoy the nice weather. The neighbours children were playing in their backyard, when suddenly the youngest one (who is about 5 years old) drops his pants and starts urinating on their lawn. Now I understand the child is young, and probaby had to go real bad, but it still gave me a bit of a shock. To be honest I didn't think much about it, until a few weeks later when I was once again sitting in my backyard having a beer. The neighbours back patio door opened and standing in the doorway was the little kid again, who proceded to urinate on their back deck. He then retreated back into the house and closed the door. This seemed a bit strange, but considering all the wierd things my neighbours do I really didn't think much of it. I thought that perhaps they only have one bathroom and one of his brothers or sisters were using it. The final straw came the next weekend, when I saw the stupid neighbour open the back door for his child and while standing right next to him watched as he pissed all over their back porch again, then closed the door when he finished. Now I'm thinking, what are the chances that their bathroom is occupied whenever the kid needs to piss, and what are the chances they are just a family of filthy idiots?

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Recycle Dammit!

I've already complained about the garbage, so now I'm going to complain about his recycling. Personally I don't care if you recycle or not, after all its a free country and your free to be an idiot. However the city cares, and will not pick up trash that contains obvious recycleables. Every two weeks the recycling truck makes its rounds, and they have a few rules. Bottles and cans should be rinsed out, cardboard boxes should be broken down flat, and newspaper bundled. Pretty simple really. My neighbour just throws out his recycling every week instead of on the designated day. The city is pretty picky and if they see a pile of cardboard on your lawn and its not recycling pickup day they won't toss it in with the regular garbage, they just leave it behind. So you can image how nice it is to look out my front window at a pile of empty cans, newspapers, and cardboard boxes for an entire week. It wouldn't be so bad if when he realized it was not recycling day he retrieved the stuff from his front lawn, but instead he leaves it there until the next Wednesday. You would think he might catch on, perhaps look around at all the other houses on the street and notice when the rest of us do it. Its not a matter of language, the majority of people on my street do not speak english and they seem to have no problems. Even if it was language the city is very good about sending every notice in many different languages, including Spanish, which I have heard him speak to his wife and kids. Its just a matter of stupidity.

Monday, November 18, 2002

Household Appliances
My neighbour bought himself a new stove on the weekend. I know this because he dragged his old stove out front and left it by the road. If my neighbour wasn't such an idiot I wouldn't worry about this eyesore. After all, the city does pickup any household appliances that require disposal. However, this is not done as part of the regular garbage pickup, you need to call a special phone number. Its not like this number is a secret or anything, as I recall it was printed on that same letter informing our street about the change in garbage day. The letter that was sent out in 7 languages. The letter my stupid neighbour obviously didn't read because he still puts his garbage out on Monday night instead of Tuesday. I was looking forward to gazing out my front window at the old stove for the next few weeks, but something else happened instead. As I was walking my dog late last night I noticed a neighbour from across the street dragging the stove into his garage. He is an old guy, very much a handyman, and always tinkering on something. He must realize my neighbour is stupid as well, and thinks the stove only needs a new fuse or something equally easy to fix.

Sunday, November 17, 2002

The Carport

I live in a neighbourhood of small lots. There is just enough space between houses for a path, and you access your garage using the back alley. Not everyone has a garage, some people (like my neighbour) just have gravel on the back 1/3 section of their yard designated for parking their cars. Since my neighbour is an idiot he decided the 50 feet between this spot and his back door was just too far to walk. He started driving his car right thru his backyard and parking it a few inches from the back door of his house. Let me tell you, this did wonders for his lawn during the summer! Last night we had our first snowstorm of the season, but it wasn't very cold and it quickly melted. I was in the kitchen this morning making coffee and looked out the back window to see him spinning his wheels as he struggled to get his car unstuck from where it had sunk into his backyard. After about an hour of shoveling and having his tires dig some nice deep grooves into what is left of the lawn he managed to back out into the alley. Later I noticed he has returned to parking the car at the back of his lot.

Saturday, November 16, 2002

Digging Postholes

At the beginning of the summer my neighbour decided he was going to build a fence to separate his front yard from his neighbour to the left (my house is on the right). He spent an entire day out in his front yard digging holes. When he finally finished that evening he had a row of about a 1/2 dozen post holes right down the dividing line between his front yard and the house to his left. That was five months ago. He has yet to move on to the next stage and actually build the fence, but he sure does have a nice bunch of holes. After a few weeks had gone by I thought, well I guess he is a busy guy. Now, five months later I'm thinking he gave up on the whole fence plan. I'm just waiting for the fall leaves or winter snow to cover them up and then either the mailman or some neighbourhood kid can trip and hurt themselves.

Friday, November 15, 2002

Garbage Day

The city recently changed the day that my neighbourhood gets its trash picked up. It used to be Tuesday, and now it is Wednesday. A full month before the change took effect the city sent a letter to every resident on the street telling them of the change. This letter was sent in 7 different languages. It has been two months now, and the idiot next door still puts his garbage out on Monday nights. The stinking pile of trash sits in the sun all day Tuesday as neighbourhood cats rip into the bags and spread garbage all over my yard and the sidewalk. You would think he might realize at some point that he is the only person on the street who still puts his garbage out on Monday nights but he seems oblivious to the entire thing.