THE DEAD BANGING A-ROD

Marina Del Ray, California - A dead 75-year old man sat on his balcony for 3 days in full view and didn't raise any eyebrows among the neighbours. Turns out folks thought the bloody corpse was just another Halloween display. No official word on the cause of death, but suspicions are it was self-inflicted.

New York, NY - The downstairs neighbour of well-past-the-best-before-date superstar Madonna is suing after claiming he has been tortured by daily noise from rehersals, banging, vibrations and late-night dancing sessions. No word if the any of the banging noises are coming from Alex Rodriguez.