Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I received a rambling and incoherent letter from a reader today. Normally I would edit and post but it was so bad I would have spent too much time and energy doing a proper editing job. So in a nutshell here is the concern... (paraphrased)

My neighbour and I both enjoy our backyard decks. Due to the way our houses were built my deck is close to the fence while his is more in the exact middle of his backyard. My neighbour recently moved his BBQ over against the fence. I can only assume he did this to minimize the smoke that could disturb anyone sitting on his deck. However his BBQ is now just a few feet from where my picnic table is located. He could easily locate the BBQ somewhere else in his backyard, and when I asked him politely he basically told me to piss off.

BBQ pollution is a serious matter. How many times are you enjoying your backyard only to be disturbed by a neighbour who simply does not know how to properly cook a steak?


Anonymous said...

Most municipalities have a enforcement for smoke pollution. Check with your local fire marshall to see if there is an ordinace or rules on outdoor burning. If there is a rule against burning that is offensive or poses a health risk you can have the fire marshall be your advocate. You may need to prove your case. I.E. get a doctors note about asthma, etc.. Anyway that could be your outlet for screwing your neighbor back. Spread the hate.

Anonymous said...

I learned early on not to try to reason with the perpetrators of such blatant acts. They know what they're doing, and are just simply going to be top dog at all cost. You have to out-think them. I do my best thinking about solutions when I am almost going to sleep at night, and I keep a pad and pencil on my nightstand because some of my solutions are perfect.

Here is what one can do to really f up a barbecue - put a shovel of dog crap in it and mash it in. Even the most foul of neighbors has to consider eating out of that thing ever again. I must credit my Mom (bless her) with this solution, and Mom was very demure, dignified, and peaceful 99% of time, with this exception. The neighbors put a hibachi right under her window in the heat of summer. They tossed out the hibachi and never put anything like it there again. Although that was a low barbecue and any dog could have dumped there, you have options to simulate this event. Even a kitty could jump up there and dump.

Unfortunately, you gave yourself away when you initially spoke to the crass neighbor. If you're lucky, maybe SOMEONE will steal that barbecue in the night. :0)