My wife called me at work today. I guess one of our neighbours had rang the doorbell. When she answered the door the guy yells...

"Is that your goddam black dog?"

Not "Hello..." or "Hi, I live a few doors down and..."

You see, we don't have a fence right now. Well we do, but there are huge holes in it. We bought the house that way (with a broken fence). It is on the agenda to be repaired. I even have all the materials in the garage. I'm just waiting for a weekend without snow or rain so I can get it done.

So we let our dog out into our yard and the honest truth is he doesn't stray. He stays in our yard. Not because he is trained to or anything, but because he is a calm and friendly (and old) dog who just needs to go outside every now and then. Usually he sits on the grass and does a whole lot of nothing.

I guess yesterday however this cat from down the street wandered into our backyard. Our dog of course chased the cat. Not a snarling, barking chase but a "hey lets play" chase. He chased the cat two doors down, which is further then he has ever strayed.

So the neighbour comes knocking on the door, and not in a nice way going on about my "goddam dog". He was rude, sputtering, and crusty. To my wifes credit she held her ground. She explained that our dog would never hurt his poor cat. She explained that we planned on fixing the fence as soon as we could. She apologized for the inconvenience. Yet the guy kept coming...

So then she asked what his cat was doing in our yard in the first place? Doesn't he understand that by allowing his cat roam outdoors he is taking some inherent risks and should accept that? She mentioned that his cat spends alot of time sitting on our front porch which upsets our animals. (We've been woken up many times to the sound of our cat screaching at this invader she sees outside the window... this of course causes our dog to bark... its a vicious escalation)

So she basically told him to piss off and to keep his cat off our property or he is fair game.

The thing is, if the guy had come to the door and said "Hi, I'm your neighbour from two doors down. I just noticed your dog chase my cat into my backyard. I've never seen him before and I hate to complain but I love my cat and if anything were to happen..."

Of course we would have apologized and told him it would never happen again.

Either way, I guess I finally have to fix that fence this weekend... rain or shine.

Cyndi writes:

I have 2 large dogs. One of which the neighbors would call over to their yard and feed steaks etc. When the house (at that time we were renting) was for sale, they offered to keep him if we couldn't take him. (Sounds great so far)

Well suddenly they decided that the dog has to stay out of their yard (no fence). Then as the dogs had to be tied, she would come over and complain that it is cruel they are tied. She would also bring them food like they were starving, but they already had a full dish. (I wonder if they are now upset because you wouldn't give them your dog?)

When they find shit in their yard (lots of neighborhood dogs roam free and even poop in our yard) they would call us to come over and clean it up. Then they even put shit in a box and put it on our front porch with writing on the box that said they would call the health department and police. (That makes no sense. They know your dog is tied up because they complain about it. WTF? I suggest the old "flaming bag" trick next time they do this. Take the poop, put it in a paper shopping bag. Leave the bag on their front step, light the bag on fire, ring the doorbell, and run! When they open the door the first instinct will be to stomp out the flames.)

I've told her to stay out of my f*#&ing yard many times and even today there was an confrontation. I told them again to stay out of my yard and slammed the door in their face twice. Then they found it nessessary to add some firewood to our firewood pile?? (This must be their way of making up for being assholes?)

I've looked briefly on the net for "things to do to piss off your neighbor" (where i found your blog) but they are just goofy pranks. I just detest these brain dead folks. My hubby did overhear her call to another neighber one day as his dog shat on the bushes near her driveway "Bert, we need to talk...." She proceeded to tell him his dog craps in her yard and the dear old man looked at her and said.." Yeah, dogs do that!"

As funny as it is that the old man replied with that it is still rude. I own a rather large dog myself and I always make sure to pick up after him no matter what. I found that folks in small towns are far less likely to pick up after their dog then in the big city (which makes sense when you think about it) but either way I think it is just plain rude.

Now I am lucky that my specific situation at my current house is a bit different. Neither my neighbour or I have a fence. He has a dog even bigger and stinkier then mine. For some reason my dog shits in his backyard and his dog shits in mine. We are not sure why but thats just what happens. No fights here however, we both laugh about it all the time. I try to "de-poop" my yard about once a month, a bit less in winter when everything is covered with snow. Right now is perfect weather. The snow here has melted but it still is slightly below freezing... easy to pick up. It is key to get the yard cleaned up before the spring thaw when everything is soggy and muddy and a real mess.

I just realized that when I changed the template recently I lost the info on how you can send me your story for publishing. Nothing fancy, just email me at ca1v1n@hotmail.com and I'll post it up.

Being a good neighbour isn't always about the folks next door. If you work in a modern office environment (cubicle farm) like I do being a good neighbour takes on a whole different meaning.

Anybody have a "farter" in the cube next door? Or someone who listens to one of those horrid 'easy listening' radio stations? How about the girl with her entire cube plastered with photos of her slimy looking boyfriend and post-it notes with hand drawn hearts and stars in multi-colored marker?

Someone who picks their nose when they think nobody is watching?

The guy who reaches into his pants and scratches his sack under the desk?

The 'snacker' who has a desk covered with crumbs, coffee stains, and the remains of unknown sticky substances?

The guy who never covers his mouth when he sneezes and you swear you can see snot splatter patterns on the cube wall?

The fat, smelly guy who has a chair that has permanent 'butt marks'?

The old saying goes "Good fences make good neighbours" but that isn't always the case. Being a good neighbour isn't just about staying out of the way or staying hidden.

Sometimes being a good neighbour is alot like being a good friend. For example, telling the truth no matter how much it hurts or warning someone who is about to make a huge mistake.

You don't do this because you are trying to prove a point, or to show one side is right or wrong, it is because you care.