THE STUPID NEIGHBOUR BLOG

Elizabeth writes:

One upon a time, there was a man who could not get a long with his neighbors no matter where he lived. He moved and he moved but no neighborhood would have him. Finally, to save daughter and grand-child from this continued disruption, the man’s father-in-law split a small lot from his farm and gave it to them so that they could live with no neighbors. Several years past, and the man was happy to live with his family in solitude and was thrilled to have fallow farmland around him. He frolicked in the fields with his golf cart and Yorkiepoo. He drank his beer and screamed at the top of his lungs outside, in the middle of the night for no apparent reason whenever he wished.

Then one day things changed for the man. Someone bought the farmland on one side of him and the farmland on the other side was for sale! But that was not all! The people who ended up buying the two farms were actually farmers and outdoorsmen!!! What was the man to do!? He would be confined to his small little lot while his neighbors might build homes, or farm, or even worse, hunt! No, no, no, this would just not do!

The man sprung into action. He could only deal with one neighbor at a time. First he became friendly with the newest property owner so he could bad-mouth the other before the two got to know each other. Then he called planning, zoning, and the tax office whenever he could to halt the 1st neighbor home building and refute is agricultural tax base. When he had done all he could to the 1st neighbor, he turned on the second one.

Now this second neighbor was a tough nut to crack. They had no home in place yet, but were there all the time. They cut, and plowed, trimmed trees, and had wildlife management practices in place. He knew they were not rich, and he could not figure out how they got access to all this equipment or buy that valuable piece of property. This incensed him! It also angered him that this new neighbor seemed to be rising from the ashes of what had been a very problematic life caused by substance abuse and combat post-traumatic stress. This new neighbor was getting happier by the day working on his land. The man did not think this new neighbor deserved to have such good fortune.

First, the man thought they he should offer alcohol to the neighbor and that would send him down the tubes. It hurt him a couple times, but didn’t quite do the job. Then the man decided that he would make it impossible for the neighbor to hunt, so he honked his horn, and banged pots and pans, and screamed at the top of his lungs during the hunts. Well, that’s when the new neighbor did something unbelievable! He got really mad and yelled at the man!! How could this be! Why would this combat vet think he could yell at the man without reprisal!

So it went. The man decides he will call the police every time the neighbor goes to the property. The neighbor piles his farm equipment and building materials near the main’s house to spoil the man’s view of this neighbor’s property. The man yells nasty things at the neighbor and the neighbor returns the favor. The neighbor takes the man to court for harassment during the hunts. The judge sides with the man after he describes himself, his wife, and his teenage daughter, and Yorkipoos being terrorized to the point of hiding in the bathroom when the neighbor comes to the property. This makes the man happy, but it is not enough! The man calls in planning and zoning complaints to no avail. For now the man is content calling the cops whenever the neighbor is on the property and making up stories to convince them that the neighbor is some crazed lunatic with a weapon and a flashlight bent on his destruction.

The moral of the story is that some people are envious of the happiness of others. They do not like to see others succeed or enjoy the blessings that come into their lives. These people often have no friends or help offered to them because they are mean. They often do not realize that this is the reason they have no friends.

Now the man continues to do his misdeeds, but the caring father-in-law that gave the land for peaceful living is selling the rest of the surrounding acreage. He doesn’t want to be his neighbor either!!!!