NEIGHBOUR HEADLINES

Reading these stories should make you feel a bit better about your own situation...

Apopka, Florida - Vincent Musco was charged with public indecency after being caught on camera touching himself in front of his neighbours house. When arrested Musco indicated he had done it in order to get his neighbours attention, believing she was interested in him. Here is a tip, next time try flowers and chocolate... save the crotch grab for after you make it to first base.

Ampang, Malaysia - When Lina Karmila visited her neighbour the other day she intended to warn of her suspicions that their eldest son was involved in drugs. She had the best of intentions, but unfortunately, the neighbour didn't appreciate her concern. Karmila was held captive and beaten with an iron rod, locked in a room, had her head shaved, given unknown pills, and finally forced to eat pieces of broken glass. Karmila was rescued by police when another neighbour called to report suspicious sounds. Investigators found crystal meth at the scene (guess that explains everything).

Skelmersdale, U.K. - A police escort was required the other day when some 'Neighbours From Hell' were allowed to visit their former home. The former residence of Jeanette Gough and Terence Flaherty has been vacated and boarded up after a six year long police investigation resulted in their expulsion. Accusations of drug use and anti-social behaviour filled the courtroom when the two were banned from council property, forcing them to rent or purchase a private home in the future. The final visit to their old flat... so they could retrieve their "prized chip pan". Which is apparently known on this side of the pond as a deep fryer.