Saturday, August 16, 2008

TOP 10 REASONS AMERICAN GYMNASTICS IS STILL #1

This doesn't have anything to do with Stupid Neighbours, but after watching the travesty that is the Olympic womans gymnastics on NBC just now, I simply can't help myself.

Another night, another example of obvious deductions and errors by Chinese gymnasts being ignored by the judges. I'm sick of the pussy footing around the issue, so I'll come right out and say it... the Chinese are cheaters!!!

TOP 10 REASONS AMERICAN GYMNASTICS IS STILL #1

10. America has dominated the sport since learning the secret of winning without cheating: Identify the best Eastern Bloc coaches and offer them citizenship in the greatest country in the world.

9. Alicia Sacramone kicks ASS!



8. Pubes. We have them.









7. Only the Hamm Brothers could make a bad haircut look good. Year after year. "Paul, Morgan... does your mom still use a bowl and do it herself?"








6. While our coaching is gruelling and requires 100% committment, we don't steal young children from their parents and keep them in a prison for the rest of their competitive lives.

5. Michael Phelps is one hell of a swimmer, but he is kinda a douche.

4. Two words: Camel Toe










3. Shawn Johnson, the sweet 16, All-American, girl next door... and she has an official website. Suck on that He Kexin!

2. We don't need fake ID to compete (and win). McLovin?








1. Nastia! Need we say more? Gold medal pedigree, hot, blonde, and a name straight out of Eastern European porn. She also has an official website.


2 comments:

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