ALMOST FORGOT

I honestly had forgotten about this blog. Almost 9 months since my last post and then in the mail the other day comes a cheque from Google for Adsense revenue. It was a bit of a surprise to say the least. Not only had I not updated in months but for some reason people were still reading old posts and generating traffic and thus Adsense revenue. Sure it was only the minimum $100 but I looked at it as free money. Not that I saw a dime of it. My wife told me I got a cheque from Google after she had spent it.

So news? When did I last post? Back in January I managed to get a big promotion at work. Apparently I am a Director now, a member of the "Senior Leadership Team" whatever that is. I'll let you know when I figure it out. So far if someone was going to ask me what it all means I would chalk it up to "more stress, more work, and more accountability". Not that any of those are necessarily bad things. Isn't what everyone wants in their job is the ability to impose change? Build a better organization? I have the power to do that now, or at least advocate for it in a more effective bargaining position. In the end it is all still a power play, a little politics, some ego stroking, and some ass kissing. Most important is to have tangible and actionable ideas. Not that any of this should be a bulletin from the newsroom or anything. Common sense if you ask me.

NEIGHBOUR HEADLINES

I stumbled across an interesting article from an Australian newspaper today about large suburban homes being converted into backpackers hostels and the subsequent complaints from neighbours about endless parties, noise and filth. This issue has some striking similarities to the stories out of many large cities of what happens in the neighbourhoods immediately surrounding Universities and Colleges where often large homes are converted to student apartments. That being said even at the most notorious 'party schools' the students do settle down to study sometimes and I don't recall hearing about any stories where 32 people were living in a house with only two toilets.

Good news for sick pedophiles in Canada. It is still illegal to kill you in a rage of vigilante justice. Word of advice however is to not let your neighbour borrow your computer.

Finally, next time you are fuming about finding dog poop on your lawn courtesy of a neighbour's canine just be happy you don't live in rural Mississippi.

MOST EXPENSIVE $80 YET

A Colorado man loaned his neighbour $80. After waiting patiently for much longer then would be considered acceptable for repayment of the debt and believing he had been cheated Jack Herbst decided to take matters into his own hands... by driving a Front End Loader into the side of his neighbour's house and parking it in their living room. Police estimate damage at $250,000.

LAWN BOY

A man who lives in Florida was upset because he felt his neighbour was not maintaining his lawn to a high enough standard. When complaining went nowhere he started mowing and watering his neighbour's lawn himself. When he was asked to stop he refused so eventually the police were called. When they asked him to stop he refused and decided to pick a fight with the police. Two black eyes, a 10,000 volt jolt from a Taser and a resisting arrest & trespassing charge later we think that Joseph Florence will probably not be providing free lawn care anytime in the near future.

It snowed again here in SW Ontario on Friday but was warm this weekend and now most of the snow has melted again. I honestly can't wait for Spring. I have some big plans, including an expansion of the raised beds and a serious attempt to expand the garden significantly. I'd like to expand from my usual Tomatoes, Cucumbers and Bell Peppers into Corn, Squash, Potatoes and Beans. Now if my municipality would just pass a backyard Chicken bylaw.

JUSTICE IS SERVED

It will be a sad day in Canada when Street Hockey is made illegal. Therefore kudos should go David Sasson who took the fight over a $75 fine imposed against his kids for a street hockey game to court. While he was victorious the law remains on the books. Unfortunately this is just another example of the 'Nanny State' mentality that has taken over so many aspects of our lives. The playgrounds that I used as a child have been deemed unsafe and bulldozed to make way for ugly plastic lumps with rounded corners... and we wonder why our children now resemble those same structures... plastic, lumpy and round.

CHECK THIS OUT

The British Colombia Court of Appeal has ruled that a couple who lives in a condo complex in the city have no right to sue their neighbour because of his "staring". Apparently Leo Lavigne would often stop outside the residence of Peter and Meah Martin and stare at them. No word on if the Martin's are nudists but what we do know is they have floor to ceiling windows. The whole case raises an interesting question on the distinction between staring and 'peeping'. Mr. Lavinge was never accused (for example) of hiding in the bushes and staring into a bathroom window hoping to get a flash of skin or anything like that. By all accounts he simply stood on the sidewalk, often with his dog on a leash beside him, and stared unsmiling into their front window. He also never made any verbal threats or threatening gestures. My advice to the Martin's is to invest in some curtains.

SIEG HEIL NEIGHBOUR

A California man has been arrested for violating a court order regarding harassing and annoying his neighbour. Apparently a long-standing quarrel over home renovations escalated to include vandalism and a system of security cameras. Eventually one party decided they couldn't take it anymore and attempted to rent their house so they could escape the situation. In order to scare away would-be renters the accused started displaying a Nazi swastika flag in his window.

BAD SANTA

This story out of the U.K. is a bit old but hit the headlines (and my attention) today because the court case has wrapped up with "Santa" found guilty on two counts of criminal damage. Just a few days before Christmas last year a man in a Santa suit was caught on closed circuit cameras slashing the tires on his neighbour's car. He may have gotten away with the crime if the same CCTV cameras had not also caught Lee O'Reilly putting on the suit and adjusting his fake beard.

Neighbour Mailbag - The Vandals

Madraga writes:

I came across your blog while I was searching for ways to deal with neighbors that are "vandals". I just want to share my woes in the hopes that you'll have suggestions on how to deal with them.

I live in a subdivision. I have a neighbor that lives right across from my place who has always been greedy about parking. Their home is on a corner lot so the side I see directly across from my home is the right side of their house. We have a Homeowner's Association and there is an agreement that for houses that have corner lots, the homeowner may only choose one side as their designated guest parking spaces.

Unfortunately the association has not been that strict in the implementation of rules around here so my neighbor was parking their car in all available streets surrounding their home. They park their car directly across from my driveway so entering my garage is difficult. They also parked their cars on the cul de sac near my home which is at the back of their lot, so this over crowds the whole street, again making it difficult for me to enter and exit. In effect they are parking on all sides instead of choosing just one.

Whenever another car is parked in of their favorite spots they call security and ask that the spot be vacated. It's not like they don't have a garage. In fact, they have a 4 car garage. If you count their designated guest parking, you can park another 2. There have been discussions (well, more like heated arguments on the resolution of the parking situation) but they refuse to follow rules.

I mentioned to my neighbor that she may only choose 1 side of the street as her parking spot and that her practice of parking all over the streets surrounding her house is not allowed. She then said that she's choosing the side across from my home. I gave in since she obviously leaves the street in front of her home as free parking space. Apparently this was not good enough for her.

I had a party one time (probably a few months ago) and my cousin parked in the only available spot, which was near their front door. My neighbor left us no choice, they parked it all over the street making it impossible to find any other place to park but the vacant spot near their front door. Well, the vandals did what only vandals do... they scratched the side of my cousin's car with a key. I have a witness who saw the incident but a criminal case was never filed. They denied scratching the car. The association saw this as an opportunity to settle the issue and called in a lawyer to help in the settlement. It was then agreed that they were no longer allowed to park across from my house. Their designated guest parking will the on the street in front of their front door. They were also asked to not park their cars in the cul de sac area since that place is used as a driveway.

We never spoke to each other ever again, every now and then they'd violate the rules and park their cars in the cul de sac area but I never bother about it. They never tried to park across from my place again. I figured out a new way of parking my cars into my garage but once a car is parked from across of my house, the whole street will be clogged. It was the only way to fit my cars into my tiny garage.

I had another party the other day, the first since the date of the scratching incident, this time my guests parked across from my home. After the dinner, we discovered that my guest's car was also scratched. There were no witnesses this time. There may be doubt as to who really scratched the car but the only people who will have a motive to do it is them. The car came in perfect condition and my guest had to leave with giant scratches on their car. My guest did not park on her front door. He parked on my driveway. Apparently she's pissed that she lost the battle and is resorting to underhanded and cowardly tactics to win her battle.

I'll have my revenge soon... The next time this happens, I will definitely file a criminal action. How I wish I was a vandal as well. I could strip their car paint and slash their tires but I don't see the point in continuing the vicious cycle. I'm a lot of things but not a vandal. I guess the only solution is to wait and be ready for concrete evidence.

That's my stupid neighbor story.

~Madraga.


Well Dear Readers, any advice to help deal with Madraga's vandal problem? I'm thinking shit-box car with some preexisting damage and a closed circuit video camera is all it would take to catch the vandals in the act. Then approach them with the evidence and/or involve the authorities.

The fact is that time and time again parking issues (from shared driveways to street parking) are one of the most common causes of conflict.

Neighbour Mailbag - Family Tree

Wendy writes:

I just thought I'd drop a line to say that sometimes neighbours can be the best thing that ever happened to you. We moved into our cul-de-sac 20 years ago. After having had neighbours from hell in the past, we strove to be friendly, but cool, with the peeps around us. My twin daughters were 13 years old. Two years after we moved in, we got new neighbours, with 13 and 11 year old sons. My girls, being that much older ..15 at the time.., would have nothing to do with the boys, however, I became quite friendly (chat over the fence) with their mom, despite some language difficulties (they were Czech).

Fast forward 13 years..Marta (the Mom) has gone through some difficulties including a marriage break-up and a new husband. We are still 'friendly', but not 'best friends' (I still have a fear of getting too close to next door neighbours) And guess what? One of my twins starts dating her oldest boy! Long story short, it was a little weird, especially when they were dating, but now, yup, they're married, have a two year old and 5 month old twins!

We tag team each other helping to babysit. We have a communal high chair and playpen that gets passed back and forth when the kids can get it together to get to our respective places. We have barbecues together, but funnily enough, still maintain a relationship that I would describe as just "neighbourly".

Some people might think it would be a nightmare having the 'in-laws' as a next door neighbour, but in my experience, because we were neighbours first, and established the parameters early on, it's all worked out well.

Oh, and funny thing, my other twin daughter has married a Czech boy as well, (but I don't think I could handle being a next door neighbour with his Mom and Dad)!

I'm really enjoying your blog! Started reading it today from 2002.


Great story Wendy and Thank You for sharing!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

That is right. February 2011 is almost over so I decided to come back from the dead and post something on this often ignored and highly irrelevant (or is it irreverent) blog.

Somehow in December I got promoted. Something to do with me being 'the fixer' (I posted about that before) or perhaps they just didn't want to go outside of the organization (last few people who joined the team that way exited soon after) but either way I have suddenly found myself holding the title of "Director" of something-something.

Not that titles mean anything... they don't... except that apparently they do. I am attempting to adjust to the situation and playing a whole new level of corporate politics. That all being said, I simply neglected the blog for far too long.

So updates to come... today I'm just going to post a few letters that have come into my inbox over the last few weeks that I have not had the chance to post. Then I'll give a whirl at pulling out the paddles and giving some shock treatment to this old beast.